By Robert Scucci
| Published
One of the reasons I love watching Steven Seagal movies is because the man’s a legend in his own mind. Every single movie revolves around how good he is at everything he does, and the unintended humor comes from the fact that his co-stars look like they know he’s a total BS artist. That “damn, he’s good” energy, however, works exceptionally well in films that don’t take themselves too seriously. Bruce Willis’ 1991 heist comedy, Hudson Hawk, has John McClane himself cracking safes, stealing artifacts, evading authorities, all while trying to get a good cappuccino.
Bruce Willis is a legend in his own mind in his portrayal of the titular character, but he’s so much more badass than Steven Seagal because he does everything with a smirk and a wink, fully aware that we’re all here to have fun watching a movie.
Currently relegated to ad-supported streaming or on-demand rentals if you want an ad-free experience, Hudson Hawk might not even be on your radar, which is a shame because it’s funnier than it has any right to be. Bruce Willis is a human cartoon character, and it looks like everybody involved had the time of their lives making this thing.
Indiana Jones Meets Die Hard
Eddie “Hudson Hawk” Hawkins is a world-class cat burglar fresh out of prison and determined to stay on the straight and narrow, enjoy a cappuccino, and leave his life of crime behind him. Naturally, he’s immediately sucked into a grand conspiracy no sooner than the prison gates close behind him. Working alongside his longtime partner, Tommy “Five-Tone” Messina (Danny Aiello), Hawk is blackmailed into a series of art heists that put him at odds with mobsters, CIA agents, and Vatican operative Sister Anna Baragli (Andie MacDowell), all of whom seem to have their own agenda.
As the body count rises and the plot grows increasingly convoluted, Hawk learns that wealthy husband-and-wife duo Darwin and Minerva Mayflower (Richard E. Grant and Sandra Bernhard) are pulling the strings behind the scenes. Their goal is nothing less than total world domination through a lost invention of Leonardo da Vinci that can supposedly turn lead into gold. Our hero globe-trots like a live-action cartoon character, and as the stakes continue to rise, so does the slapstick humor surrounding them.
Bruce Willis Is A Cartoon Character In Hudson Hawk
Though Hudson Hawk’s 23 percent critical score on Rotten Tomatoes would make you think it belongs in the same league as Steven Seagal’s Out for Justice, that assessment couldn’t be further from the truth. Hudson Hawk is pure popcorn spectacle, led by one of the ’90s most charismatic action stars at the height of his popularity. It’s a hidden gem if you’re in the mood for a heist flick that never takes itself seriously and is pretty shameless about it.
Oh yeah, and it’s also worth mentioning that half of the henchmen constantly at odds with Bruce Willis are named after candy bars and are exceptionally good at being totally incompetent. If that sounds like a good time, you can stream Hudson Hawk for free on The Roku Channel as of this writing.
